Jamie Lynn Dietzel-Selfridge Houghton Lake, Michigan Michigan

My husband and I had a whirlwind fairy tale relationship. I met him and I knew instantly that he was the man I wanted to marry. Not long after we started to date I got pregnant with our first child. He was a dream partner through the pregnancy, delivery, and made sure he was the one to rock our son to bed every night. When our son was a couple of months old he proposed to me. I was over the moon in love with this man. We spent our free time having BBQís with our friends, and taking our boys to the beach. A few days after he proposed we were dropped with some big news. Not only was he being sent away for training (he was in the Army) for a few months and being deployed to Afghanistan right after that, but we learned my birth control failed and we were expecting another baby. Our first baby was only 3 months old … we were scared, but happy about the new addition. We pushed the wedding up to be done before he deployed. August 13th, 2011 was the happiest day of our lives. It was

My husband and I had a whirlwind fairy tale relationship. I met him and I knew instantly that he was the man I wanted to marry. Not long after we started to date I got pregnant with our first child. He was a dream partner through the pregnancy, delivery, and made sure he was the one to rock our son to bed every night. When our son was a couple of months old he proposed to me. I was over the moon in love with this man. We spent our free time having BBQís with our friends, and taking our boys to the beach. A few days after he proposed we were dropped with some big news. Not only was he being sent away for training (he was in the Army) for a few months and being deployed to Afghanistan right after that, but we learned my birth control failed and we were expecting another baby. Our first baby was only 3 months old … we were scared, but happy about the new addition. We pushed the wedding up to be done before he deployed. August 13th, 2011 was the happiest day of our lives. It was a beautiful wedding with all of our friends and family. || My husband was asked to be the best man in his friendís wedding 2 weeks later on August 27th. He spent the next two weeks doing things with the wedding party and the night before the wedding he went out with the bridal party and some of their friends. The day of the wedding I wasnít feeling well, but I made a point to go anyway. He introduced me to everyone and we danced the night away. At about 11pm the baby was going crazy and I decided to head home. I kissed my husband good night and he walked me to my car. The next morning I wake up and he isnít home yet. I call his phone, his motherís phone, his best friend on his honeymoon, the hospital, and finally jail. Nothing. I couldnít find him. He finally called his brother and had his brother come pick him up from a friendís house and bring him home. At the time cheating never once crossed my mind. I believed him when he said he just got too drunk and didnít hear me call. || A couple of months later (his training was postponed) I saw a message on his Facebook from a girl named Jamie Lynn Dietzel-Selfridge. It was innocent in nature, but I had no idea who she was. I messaged my friend, the bride from the wedding, and asked her if she knew the name. She instantly freaked out and said she would find out why she is talking to my husband. When I confronted my husband he said she was a friend of the bridal party and had just sent him a message on Facebook. Since the messages were innocent in nature I didnít think too much about it. || A week later he goes out of town to visit his cousin. He kisses me goodbye and everything was normal when he left. || The next day a picture shows up on my news feed from Jamieís brothers Facebook of my husband, at what looked like a hotel party, in bed passed out with Jamie laying on him with her hands in a ďrock on poseĒ. Classy, I know. He was asleep and she took the picture, and had her brother (I graduated with him and had him as a Facebook friend) so I would find it. I texted a copy of the picture to my husband and said ďI thought you said you werenít closeĒ and he responded with ďWell, I guess we are.Ē I hacked his e-mail and found this from Jamie || ďI feel neglected and unimportant when you text k***** while you are suppose to be visiting and spending time with me. I understand that you need to keep her close because of the baby so I feel that ďbullshittingĒ with her while with me is not ok. If you would like to text about important thing aka needs or kids or not text her at all that would be fine with me. I wonít ever tell you to not take a phone call from her based on her situation. || I am starting to feel like just a booty call. We no longer go out during the day. I feel like you donít ask me to go out with you anymore. I also feel like you only stop by late at night and you rarely stay. The past you were stopping whenever you could, taking me places and not caring who said or saw what. I felt like I got more time with you while you were married. You no longer ask me to lunch or to meet you anywhere. There isnít much of you stopping while my kids are here in bed. I am feeling severely neglected. This lack of time with me feels like you no longer are interested in my company for whatever reason. || I feel disrespected and lied too. I donít like how I feel when you lie and assume that I wonít understand something. I feel that I canít trust you. Also with my lack of trust and your lack of doing anything that makes me feel better tells me that you no longer want me or you have replaced me. I also feel that your lack of willingness to spend time with my kids means you know you donít want to make the investment in me so therefore you donít want to hurt my kids. Lying is not ok under any circumstance so please donít try and justify it with ďyou wonít understand.Ē You have also disrespected me while you have been drunk. There have been things said that have hurt my feelings, actions done that have also hurt me. Also you have put off talking to me about what our future should be so therefore I donít know what to expect. I feel like you want me in the dark so that I canít make a decision. || I feel lost and confused currently. I have worked very hard during this healing process of my own and I didnít want a setback or a settle. Looking at these lists of feelings I have it makes me wonder why I am trying so hard to save this. It is a very unhealthy list of negatives that have been acquired. I realize I fight for you because of how I felt when I met you. That instant connection that stopped me dead in my tracks. You are the second person that this has happened with. The first I also had an unhealthy relationship with. Basically he wasnít ready to settle down and be with me. I have talked to him within the last couple of years and he has admitted to me that he has huge regrets and holes in his life for not ďchoosingĒ me. I donít mean that I am the best thing for you. I am a damn good thing because of my knowledge, experience and my healing abilities. I donít want you to push anything away cause of your fears because you may lose something wonderful. May that be k****, a friend, a family member, me or some other person you havenít met yet. I am a realist! For some reason my gut feels like I need to fight for you, that if I leave this ďrelationshipĒ on bad terms we will both be cursed. Like I said before, I am not sure you push me away casue you donít want to hurt me or you push me away cause you just want me gone and you donít know how to tell me. I agree with fighting for something you want. But we canít fight a war forever. I know the war you fight and yet you donít think I am capable of understanding. I went through this, I was k*****, I know exactly how she feels, why she does what she does and why you respond the way you do. I am not naÔve or unknowing. I have been through counseling, domestic violence counseling, and as a social work I already have a huge knowledge base of training to deal with these types of situations. I donít tell you to stop texting k***** at a certain time cause I donít like it. I tell you to stop to save yourself. Obviously you’re ďbullshittingĒ with her still causes her to ask you to help her and to stay the night. Look what kind of message you are sending. And how am I suppose to feel? She hates you, says horrible things, canít stand you yet she wants you to come over. I get it and I see why she does it. I donít judge you or her. I understand how this works. For me healing started a whole lot faster when I saw what responding was doing to me. So I tell you to help you not hurt you. || I am hurt and I am very disappointed in myself. I knew what risk I was taking in being with you. Tried to back out several times. This is a hard life to hack and to cope with especially when trust is already an issue in your life. I gave into my feelings and allowed myself to feel for you, open to you, be vulnerable, allow the possibility of a future with you make me happy. I trusted you when you said I could trust you. Back then I believed in you because you backed up your words with actions. And you did anything and everything to make me feel safe, loved, respected. Now you donít do anything to make me feel those things. After writing this, its kind of obvious isnít? I am not sure at my purpose of meeting you and feeling such intense things. I feel my own bouts of guilt with how k***** feels, but thatís not my issue, my problem. I canít make anyone but myself feel anything. We are all a product of our own feelings. Maybe someday I will know what your purpose is and was to me. Maybe itís learning about myself, maybe its opening your eyes to new things and to help you move forward. But I also know that you donít treat someone you love like this. I would never do these things to mel. And I do know that there are guys/girls out there that donít make people feel like this. I know you have your own demons and your own battles. There needs to be a healing process for you. You obviously thought you could hack this and you clearly canít. I am just sad to have lost that guy that left me speechless. I know where he is and maybe thatís why I fight so hard. But as you said before, itís not my job to save you. And for the record I donít need saving. I was strong enough to save myself. || So know this, because i know the pain of this journey that you are on, i am going to fight for you. I will fight until my gut says its time to be done. I like you and the connection I felt toward you is beyond any amount of understanding. And for that reason, is enough to convince me to fight………Ē || Needless to say we are now divorced, and he cheated on her with Gina less than 6 months later (who thought he was still married). Jamie is now with yet another womanís husband, Gina skipped town, and I have moved on. || || >

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