Johnny and I were only married for a year, so no children. But in that year, we were happy and we were in love… We moved to Alabama from Texas to start our new life together and for a little while, it was perfect. Then Johnny started using meth and slowly started to turn into a monster. He was constantly mean and verbally abusuve. Then he became physical. One incident he actually used a 2 by 4 on me. Beating me until I was unrecognizable. || He isolated me from my family and friends and I had no where to turn without him being right there. We met the home wrecker Jennifer Ward together and I soon became aware that she was supplying him the drugs. Which in turn awarded me another beatung. We went to his coworkers house to celebrate Super Bowl Sunday and I believed we were having fun… || The week before had been magical. We were us again. But even before the game started, he said he was running to the store. Yeah, that cliche. I never saw him again. He left me at a complete strangers house to go get high with her. I finally made it back to Texas, but I was deeply withdrawn and depressed. I had become so dependent on him that I was literally lost. I became suicidal and had attempted it twice already. In a moment of sanity, I admitted myself into a psychiatric hospital to acquire the help I needee to become me again. || It’s a slow process, but every day I’m alive is a win for me. I have never lost myself like that before. He was my world, my breath, my heartbeat, my existence. I still love him. But recently I found out they are both in jail in Alabama for drugs and burglary. This is no longer my Johnny. He chose the drugs over me and that’s something I’ll never get over. || I miss the man I fell in love with, but I’ve accepted that he’s gone. The one thing that keeps me sane is the knowledge that I did not need drugs to make him want me. All I needed was me. Jennifer Ward’s beneath me and if I read her obituary tomorrow, I’d feel nothing. I do pray that he gets his life together before it’s too late for him. Thank you.