My husband and I have been married for almost 15 years. Our anniversary is in October. We have been together since we were 22 and 21. In October 2010 he lost his job and began working 2.5 hours away from home. He would leave Monday mornings and return home on Thursday nights. || In January, I saw blackberry message from Mel on my husband’s phone. He replied to her message and said he couldn’t call her right now because he was fighting with”her” (that would be me). He called her baby so I knew right away something was up. I called her on his phone and she hung up as soon as she heard my voice. He texted with her that night. The next day she texted with me and said the same things he had told me. They were friends and a sounding board for each other. Sometimes they went out to lunch. They both said they met because she was going to sell insurance to the company he was working for. During their meeting, they developed a friendship that had been going on since June 2011. I did not know about any of this and it was 18 months later. || My husband told me he loved me and wanted to work things out. We began attending marriage counseling. In April 2013, he finally came (sort of) clean. He told me he had been having sex with Mel. He also said they had been living together while he was away at work for 6 months. When he stopped paying hotels each week he told me his employer began paying for the hotel room. I did not know he was living with her because I thought his job was paying for the hotel. He also told me it was over between them and he was sorry. || This information nearly killed me. I was a mess. He saw how upset and destroyed I had become and asked our councilor to recommend a doctor because he needed to find out why he would do this to me and our family. He saw a doctor and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Hyper sexuality is one of the symptoms of the disorder. After the diagnosis and with treatment things between us began to change. He turned into the man I had married. We were working hard to repair our marriage and things were going good. || In June 2013, Mel sent my husband a text and told him”you suck.” This text brought everything back up and it was like I had just found out all over again. I saw the text and texted her back asking her to leave us alone. Mel told me”don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I can text $%^& whenever I want.” I thought, who does she think she is? He is my husband not yours. Yet she continually made me feel like I was the one having an affair with her husband. She has played the victim and told me that she has nothing to do with my marriage. || After that text, things began to change. I was a mess again. I started asking more questions and found out that they actually met through adultfriendfinder.com. He opened an account their because he was looking for sex. He was very upfront about this with her. He told Mel he was married and he would never leave me. I also found out that they had been having unprotected sex. || I still decided to work on my marriage. I knew my husband was sick and that contributed to his behavior. However, I told him that Mel was not going to leave him alone and he needed to send her an email ending things once and for all. No more letting her down easy because that was not working. He sent the email and Mel accused me of hacking into his email account and sending it. Every time he tells her he’s not interested she says it’s from me and I am harassing her. I did contact her on several occasions asking, pleading, and begging for her to tell me the truth. She never has. I have tried to appeal to her woman to woman, mother to mother, and wife to wife. Yes, she is married and cheating on her husband. Mel never told me the truth and she says she will never tell me the truth. Her relationship with my husband is none of my business. She is heartless! || So on Tuesday (September 2013), she went to his work and left him a nasty voicemail and text. When he didn’t answer or respond, she left a note in his car. (BTW- he started a new job in April so he would be home every night.) The note said”I need to talk to you. I will knock on the door here the next time I stop by unless you call me and set up a time to meet. I have moved on but need closure – real closure not a nasty text or email.” My husband’s response was I think we have said all that needs to be said. I don’t appreciate you threatening me to meet you. Several texts were exchanged and she told him I love you, I will always love you. I think about you every day and cry. You ruined my faith in telling the truth. It went on and on. Mel also told him that I sent her the nasty email and text when they actually come from him. He told her again he sent them. Today, I told her I saw on the phone bill they were talking again. She told me the only reason she continued to contact him was because I was harassing her. All I ever did was ask her to tell me the truth. I feel like as his wife I deserve that. She has told him I am a bitch, that I’m crazy and unstable. || It pains me to even write this. I feel like she will never be out of our lives. If he doesn’t keep in touch she’ll text him and tells him he sucks. If he tells her it’s over, she assumes it’s me because he would never say anything mean to her. So, she’ll contact him or go to his work to say they need to meet to have closure face to face.