Tammy Lauthern Missouri Missouri

Tammy Lauthern, honestly, what the f**k were you thinking? You knew he was married. You knew he had children. You knew me, knew my kid, had dinner at our home, etc. You knew he slept beside me every night and you knew that I knew nothing. Is that what made it so delicious? So tempting? That I appeared by his side at various events, utterly clueless to what was going on behind my back? Did you feel triumphant? That you’d beat me at something? It was a conscious decision on your part to try to ruin our family.Okay, so I looked stupid, at least to you. Is the satisfaction of that worth sacrificing your own dignity? Because, really, how can you have any dignity when you’re pulling on your panties as he races out the door to be home in time for dinner? How can you have any dignity when you’re trying to clean up the mess you two made in your house having sex, just in time before your husband returns from work? How can you have any dignity when you’re telling your twins

Tammy Lauthern, honestly, what the f**k were you thinking? You knew he was married. You knew he had children. You knew me, knew my kid, had dinner at our home, etc. You knew he slept beside me every night and you knew that I knew nothing. Is that what made it so delicious? So tempting? That I appeared by his side at various events, utterly clueless to what was going on behind my back? Did you feel triumphant? That you’d beat me at something? It was a conscious decision on your part to try to ruin our family.Okay, so I looked stupid, at least to you. Is the satisfaction of that worth sacrificing your own dignity? Because, really, how can you have any dignity when you’re pulling on your panties as he races out the door to be home in time for dinner? How can you have any dignity when you’re trying to clean up the mess you two made in your house having sex, just in time before your husband returns from work? How can you have any dignity when you’re telling your twins that you have errands to run, taking them to your mother, but instead, waiting on my husband to come to your house and f**k with you.Though I might have looked stupid, and perhaps pitiful, to you…and some less-than-compassionate others, I’ll take stupid over sleazy and low and cruel any day of the week. I’ll take stupid over being called a slut, whore, homewrecker…No matter how awful it felt to be me when I found out, I’d still take that over being you. No matter that my eyes were practically swollen shut from crying, I could still look myself square in the mirror without shame. Can you? Can you look into your husband’s eyes without shame now? Now, when he knows everything? Will you be able to look into your daughters eyes without the shame, if some day they find out about your betrayal of your husband and their dad?Did you think it was simply a matter of time? That you would be appealing enough for him to walk away from the life he’d built?My guess is, yes, you did. My guess is that very few Other Women honestly admit their role as an accomplice in the intentional hurting and deception of another human being. Instead, they sell themselves clichés. Something along the lines of”we couldn’t help ourselves”,”the chemistry was too powerful” or”you can’t stop love.” All of which, I suspect you recognize on some level, is total bullshit. All of which allows you to divorce your abhorrent actions from your intent.”We didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” you wail.Oh. Yes. You. Did.Because you knew. You knew that I was being hurt, even if I didn’t yet know it. You knew I was being lied to. And betrayed. And you participated in that. Knowingly. Willingly. Perhaps even happily.What’s more, my child was being hurt. And though I don’t expect you to take total responsibility for that (after all, HE made a conscious decision to participate in this), you nonetheless contributed to the potential dissolution of our family.And for what?Was that sex worth it? Were the feelings of superiority, if only for the brief time he was with you, so intoxicating that it made all the humiliating departures, all the embarrassment when you were caught, all the shame this no doubt triggered, worth it?What have you gained? Nothing, but shame, and the fame to be known as a whore and homewrecker.And, believe it or not, I feel sorry for you. Though I raged at you in my head, loathed the look of you, wanted to spit each time I said your name, and wanted to take a shower each time I imagined you two together, I nonetheless felt a sliver of pity for you. Because no-one does this unless they value themselves so little that they settle for another’s scraps rather than demand respect and kindness.It has been almost a year. I have no idea where you are now. And though I still taste anger when I think back, I’m able to wish you, if not well, then at least better than what you had. If only to spare another woman the agony of finding out that you’re sleeping with her husband.I don’t think I will ever just forgive and forget. That’s not possible. But I think I can at least heal, maybe like a shattered bone, which may take years… but perhaps I will heal and be stronger. || You sacrificed self-respect and human kindness…and came away empty. That’s got to sting.

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