I’ve been with my husband for over 10+ years and married for over 5 years. I’m 2 years older than him. Two years ago I had an ectopic pregnancy that required emergency surgery. He was there and was very supportive throughout all this ordeal. When I got better and returned back to work he was there for me but the love and intimacy between was was gone. He refuses to touch me maybe due to surgery. So I didn’t think much of it and I just let it be. Then he started coming home late at night. Me thinking hes at work-hes self employed at his family laundromat business so he makes up his hours, comes and go as he pleases basically. I work evenings so I don’t come home till late. || In August 2014, my sister came to visit us and all of a sudden he tells me hes going on a vacation in Florida. This is very unusual of him to travel because he never travels. We never went on a honeymoon! Never ever to anywhere. His trip to Florida came as a surprise to me. I asked who’s he going with and his response is with some friends. I asked what kind of friends, he refuses to give me names. He comes back from his trip all happy and full of life. At the moment I was suspicious. I looked through his backpack the next day after he left for work and oh my lord..I found condoms!!! He never uses condoms with me, why are there condoms in his bag? I then looked through his luggage and found receipts to theme parks and had photos taken but of course his mistress took them all. I confronted him and asked who he went to Florida with and he just lied to my face saying I’m asking so many annoying questions and that I wouldn’t know them anyways even if he told me. I then checked his wallet some time later and found business cards to restaurants in the city. Hes been taking his mistress to eat here and god knows where else. I was naive and refused to believe he is seeing someone else. Even his brother tells us to go on a vacay since he has so much free time. But his”free” time is being spend with his mistress! || Last week (January 14, 2015) he asked me return some stuff he bought but he didn’t give me the receipts. I then looked through his backpack to see if its among his other receipts. Nope, instead I found receipts of him going to Woodbury Premium outlet and all the things for paid in cash by him. I told myself since when did he have time to go outlet shopping and with who. Then one of the receipts has those frequent returning customers with their ID # and name. It was her name! I was furious and my blood was boiling at that moment! They have been sneaking behind my back for the past 2+ years and thinking they’re not gonna get caught. I don’t know if he’s purposely leaving things around for me to find out or hes just careless and stupid. He once told me hes not happy and always asking for a divorce but he saids it in a joking way. I told him I’ll gladly give him a divorce since there is no intimacy involved anymore and he doesn’t pay attention to me as he used to. He basically comes home and just play games on his phone and on the computer till the early mornings. He had sex with me no more than 4-5 times a year. I work 2 jobs and hes out there carrying this affair behind my back! I am hurt and devastated beyond belief. I never expected this to happen in our marriage. I was completely blind sided. || That night I ignored him. He knew I was upset and he don’t know what. I cried all night long. He tried to comfort me but I ignored him. Then in the morning he wanted to talk and to tell him what’s wrong. I then asked how long has this affair been going on? He was shocked that I found out and he just got quiet. I said is it because of my ectopic pregnancy that he decided to have this affair. He had wasted 10 years of my life and kept me around all this time but yet he refuses to leave when hes not even happy. I longed to start a family with him but he refuses to start a family with me and makes all sorts of excuses just not to touch me. He admitted to the affair. I said I hope shes worth it, you both disgust me. I told him I don’t want him near me, don’t even touch me and told him to move out…take everything that’s his and just get out of my life. We are done and I want a divorce! I know who she was but I wanna hear him say her name. He refuses and said it will do me no good. He thinks he can have me a dutiful wife at home and her outside at the same time. Woman have a sixth sense about these things. Don’t lie to us! || About the mistress. She came to the USA about 4 years ago from China. My husband’s brother’s wife (my husbands sister in law) is distant cousins of Xue. Xue is in her early 20s. My husband brother decided to help them out by hiring the family to work at their laundromat stores. The affair could’ve started as innocent flirting at least 3 years ago and then it led to something more. Now it just got to a more intimate level between them. Oh, did I mention her birthday is just 2 days away from mine and her English name also Jen. || The day I kicked him out, I got hold of Xue’s mom cell phone. I called and told her what her daughter has been doing behind my back…carrying a secret love affair with a married man. She was shocked and I told her they can have each other…they deserve each other. I then told my brother in law of his brothers secret affair. He did not expect this to happen, he was in shock as well. I want all of his family to know what hes done to me and how I’m emotionally and psychology hurt.